I found out something that made me no strength to continue. That scene kept appearing in my mind. Be it when I am waiting for bed, traveling to school or even now. I had to control my tears infront of my friends. I had made them worried too much alr. I can't be so selfish let them worry for me anymore. I think I am letting go sooner or later.
Arghhhhhhhhhh! Fcuk lahhhhhh! Knn! I hate him!!! Fcuking hate him!!!!!
He wont bother about how sad I am. Whether am I crying or even whether am I worried. He don't bother. I gave up totally. When I wake up tomorrow, I will be a brand new girl that won't bother about anything else about him. Not again.
I will be a no life girl from now on. Just school, home, school and home. No fb, no tumblr, no blog!
fcuk lah! seriously, i think i am just nothing to him. he doesn't bother about anything of mine! i am really giving up! i won't give a fcuk damn to anything alr. i gets nothing when i give a damn. so what for a give a damn to all his things. he want use all his money his problem lah! he want play soccer, play his arcade, his lan, all his problem lah! i am not going to bother anymore. not a single time alr! because th heart is really dead! no tears, no pain anymore! when there's no tears, no pain, means i won't be hurt. when i am not hurt, i can smile! smile all i want and not bothering what people says! they want to bitch behind my back, go ahead! she want to flirt with him, go ahead! i won't give a damn anymore! i will just let go!
hais. from last week onwards, my mood is like so fcuk lah~ i thought that everything was fine you know? but in the end, it wasn't like that. everything is just like hiding from me. lies & all. i don't understand. why he doesn't want to say. i want him to say. i really do! Labels: why~
what's trust? can anyone tell me? in a relationship, what does trust means? i dont know why, i dont trust you, i can't trust you, i dont know how to trust you anymore. these few sentences keep popping out around me now. cant he just trust me? what i do just make him unhappy. i really dont know what to do alr! i am giving up very soon! because of just one thing. he trust her more than me. i dont know how to say. i just feel like giving up! & i somehow hate her. Labels: gave up
seriously! what I do or say just make you so unhappy for th past one week. be it, i lost th ring, i ask you to pass me th psp, i ask you go sentosa, go lan with you, i said not to meet on your working days, let you go find them, scared that you wont have enough sleep. everything also made you so unhappy. if that's what that made you so unhappy for th whole week, fine! i wont ask you anything from now on. what you want do, i wont follow, i wont ask. i will just be a girlfriend that keep quiet about everything! from now on, i really will.
hais. everything is so fcuk now! am i really that bad/lousy/useless? i really dont know. it seems to be like to you. i really dont know. you said that i'm th best. i asked you what am i best in, you told me alot alot. but you only told me 2 sentence. first sentence: where you go, i will follow. Second: what you do, i wont say a thing. but do you know, you are not saying th truth? first sentence: not every time i want to follow you will let. we will quarrel over this. Second sentence: not i dont want to say, is i say alr, you will give me one black face, or even didn't bother. you will still do your way that you want. i really dont know are you saying th truth or just want to make me happy. but i know that i'm really hurt today by one sentence; you told me, you cant believe me that easy alr. i really dont know what i have done wrong again this time. is it because of that day? or that day? or even didnt forget about that thing? i dont know. really feel like hiding myself in a corner & never answer anyone. hais. i really dont know alr. you dont want to tell me about anything. i also dont want to care alr. because i wont bother a single thing from now on. not a single one.
hais. i'm starting to feel so down & guilty this 2 days. i'm really very guilty. what should i do? help me please. Labels: i'm so guilty
hais. seriously. i'm giving up. he don't remember a single thing! i dont want bother alr. i wont put my whole heart in from now on. because i feels that is wasting my time. i dont wish to stay over at his house alr! not anymore. Labels: fcuk
Da sha gua is back! :D haha! da sha gua is bored now. she got no one to talk to. :( what a sad thing. she did alot of things today! haha! went to school in th morning, end school at 1pm, took train back with sundram & qixian. slacked at home alot, went to eat sakae at 5pm with mummy. went for some shopping after that. then went back home. & now there's 2 children at my house! ohmygod. haha! my mummy's god children. haha! they staying over till saturday. going back on saturday morning. haha! i'm staying over at baby's house on saturday night! :D haha! but he haven ask his parents yet. haha! bad him! hahahahahahahahahah!
yawns! i'm getting tired. but i still want to watch my show. haha! & wait for baby's to reach home. he's at home now, but he's going out soon. he's going to find yonghwee at cck later. & play lan. haha! i promised him to let him play. but can only play $10 per week. haha! i told him alot of things yesterday also. like, only $30 on soccer per week, quit smoking (to save money on cigg.), then every week save $16. haha! then one month will have $64, one year will have $768. haven add his cathay pay. let's say his cathay pay is $150 per month, one year will have $1800. if we add his allowance together with the pay, it will be $2568. see! so much right! haha! he can buy almost 6 gucci belt leh! 6 leh! hahahahahahahahahahahha! i kept psycho him to save money! haha! :D he said he will save & keep luaghing :) haha!
baby will be working tomorrow. means i will be staying at home th whole day tomorrow. siannn! can only see him on saturday evening. so siannnn! he super lazy! he don't want to bring his psp over! he wants me to go over & take. but i'm super lazy to go over also. cause i want to sleep till very late tomorrow. hais. hope he brings over later after meeting yonghwee bah. :)Labels: hehe. i want baby save money :)
i suddenly dont feel like doing anything alr. nothing. just feel like locking myself in th room. no one understand how i feel. this feeling sucks!
waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! boring lahhhhhhhhhhhh! hahahaha! waiting for stupid dumb dumb to finish NAFA! stupid dumb! hahahahhahahah! left hand super pain lahhh! cant raise up. idiot!!! hahahah!
hahaha! yesterday went to met up with Elaine & her dad at Teckwhye market. chit chat at cofffee shop then we went to walk around at th market. her dad bought some things back. took his dad van to their house. chit chat with Elaine while eating hei gua zi! hahahahhaha. then she drove me back home. hahaha! her transport vehicle was...........................................2 wheel bicycle! haha. we went back by the cannel that lead from her house to my house. hahahahahhaha! th ride was so fun lahhhh!save alot of time somemore. faster than i take 302 home. hahahahahhahahahah! will try to cycle to her house somedays. hahahah!Labels: nice ride, skills.
I found out something that made me no strength to continue. That scene kept appearing in my mind. Be it when I am waiting for bed, traveling to school or even now. I had to control my tears infront of my friends. I had made them worried too much alr. I can't be so selfish let them worry for me anymore. I think I am letting go sooner or later.
Arghhhhhhhhhh! Fcuk lahhhhhh! Knn! I hate him!!! Fcuking hate him!!!!!
He wont bother about how sad I am. Whether am I crying or even whether am I worried. He don't bother. I gave up totally. When I wake up tomorrow, I will be a brand new girl that won't bother about anything else about him. Not again.
I will be a no life girl from now on. Just school, home, school and home. No fb, no tumblr, no blog!
fcuk lah! seriously, i think i am just nothing to him. he doesn't bother about anything of mine! i am really giving up! i won't give a fcuk damn to anything alr. i gets nothing when i give a damn. so what for a give a damn to all his things. he want use all his money his problem lah! he want play soccer, play his arcade, his lan, all his problem lah! i am not going to bother anymore. not a single time alr! because th heart is really dead! no tears, no pain anymore! when there's no tears, no pain, means i won't be hurt. when i am not hurt, i can smile! smile all i want and not bothering what people says! they want to bitch behind my back, go ahead! she want to flirt with him, go ahead! i won't give a damn anymore! i will just let go!
hais. from last week onwards, my mood is like so fcuk lah~ i thought that everything was fine you know? but in the end, it wasn't like that. everything is just like hiding from me. lies & all. i don't understand. why he doesn't want to say. i want him to say. i really do! Labels: why~
what's trust? can anyone tell me? in a relationship, what does trust means? i dont know why, i dont trust you, i can't trust you, i dont know how to trust you anymore. these few sentences keep popping out around me now. cant he just trust me? what i do just make him unhappy. i really dont know what to do alr! i am giving up very soon! because of just one thing. he trust her more than me. i dont know how to say. i just feel like giving up! & i somehow hate her. Labels: gave up
seriously! what I do or say just make you so unhappy for th past one week. be it, i lost th ring, i ask you to pass me th psp, i ask you go sentosa, go lan with you, i said not to meet on your working days, let you go find them, scared that you wont have enough sleep. everything also made you so unhappy. if that's what that made you so unhappy for th whole week, fine! i wont ask you anything from now on. what you want do, i wont follow, i wont ask. i will just be a girlfriend that keep quiet about everything! from now on, i really will.
hais. everything is so fcuk now! am i really that bad/lousy/useless? i really dont know. it seems to be like to you. i really dont know. you said that i'm th best. i asked you what am i best in, you told me alot alot. but you only told me 2 sentence. first sentence: where you go, i will follow. Second: what you do, i wont say a thing. but do you know, you are not saying th truth? first sentence: not every time i want to follow you will let. we will quarrel over this. Second sentence: not i dont want to say, is i say alr, you will give me one black face, or even didn't bother. you will still do your way that you want. i really dont know are you saying th truth or just want to make me happy. but i know that i'm really hurt today by one sentence; you told me, you cant believe me that easy alr. i really dont know what i have done wrong again this time. is it because of that day? or that day? or even didnt forget about that thing? i dont know. really feel like hiding myself in a corner & never answer anyone. hais. i really dont know alr. you dont want to tell me about anything. i also dont want to care alr. because i wont bother a single thing from now on. not a single one.
hais. i'm starting to feel so down & guilty this 2 days. i'm really very guilty. what should i do? help me please. Labels: i'm so guilty
hais. seriously. i'm giving up. he don't remember a single thing! i dont want bother alr. i wont put my whole heart in from now on. because i feels that is wasting my time. i dont wish to stay over at his house alr! not anymore. Labels: fcuk
Da sha gua is back! :D haha! da sha gua is bored now. she got no one to talk to. :( what a sad thing. she did alot of things today! haha! went to school in th morning, end school at 1pm, took train back with sundram & qixian. slacked at home alot, went to eat sakae at 5pm with mummy. went for some shopping after that. then went back home. & now there's 2 children at my house! ohmygod. haha! my mummy's god children. haha! they staying over till saturday. going back on saturday morning. haha! i'm staying over at baby's house on saturday night! :D haha! but he haven ask his parents yet. haha! bad him! hahahahahahahahahah!
yawns! i'm getting tired. but i still want to watch my show. haha! & wait for baby's to reach home. he's at home now, but he's going out soon. he's going to find yonghwee at cck later. & play lan. haha! i promised him to let him play. but can only play $10 per week. haha! i told him alot of things yesterday also. like, only $30 on soccer per week, quit smoking (to save money on cigg.), then every week save $16. haha! then one month will have $64, one year will have $768. haven add his cathay pay. let's say his cathay pay is $150 per month, one year will have $1800. if we add his allowance together with the pay, it will be $2568. see! so much right! haha! he can buy almost 6 gucci belt leh! 6 leh! hahahahahahahahahahahha! i kept psycho him to save money! haha! :D he said he will save & keep luaghing :) haha!
baby will be working tomorrow. means i will be staying at home th whole day tomorrow. siannn! can only see him on saturday evening. so siannnn! he super lazy! he don't want to bring his psp over! he wants me to go over & take. but i'm super lazy to go over also. cause i want to sleep till very late tomorrow. hais. hope he brings over later after meeting yonghwee bah. :)Labels: hehe. i want baby save money :)
i suddenly dont feel like doing anything alr. nothing. just feel like locking myself in th room. no one understand how i feel. this feeling sucks!
waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! boring lahhhhhhhhhhhh! hahahaha! waiting for stupid dumb dumb to finish NAFA! stupid dumb! hahahahhahahah! left hand super pain lahhh! cant raise up. idiot!!! hahahah!
hahaha! yesterday went to met up with Elaine & her dad at Teckwhye market. chit chat at cofffee shop then we went to walk around at th market. her dad bought some things back. took his dad van to their house. chit chat with Elaine while eating hei gua zi! hahahahhaha. then she drove me back home. hahaha! her transport vehicle was...........................................2 wheel bicycle! haha. we went back by the cannel that lead from her house to my house. hahahahahhaha! th ride was so fun lahhhh!save alot of time somemore. faster than i take 302 home. hahahahahhahahahah! will try to cycle to her house somedays. hahahah!Labels: nice ride, skills.
Hi! :) I am just a silly girl that wants everyone to dote and love :D
Alicia; ShiQi ♥
